Here’s how many singles explain how come they’re still single:
Those who want me – I don’t want, and those I want – don’t want me
Yet this isn’t the absolute truth; it’s only what that person experiences.
There would always be those who don’t want me, but not always those that don’t want me also cause me to feel rejected.
Out of those who do want me for a serious relationship, it’s quite reasonable to assume statistically that at least one can fulfill all my needs.
The problem is that I said “no” to this person that could have been right for me.
And why did I say “no”? Because I’m not ready for a serious relationship.
I’m scared of making this move, opening up to someone new, crossing that line which will cause me to break my heart if we split up.
The point of no return in dating that develops into a relationship
There are two stages where someone may want me, yet I’d refuse a serious relationship with him/her despite the fact that he/she may be right for me:
After the first date; and a few weeks into the relationship.
After the first date we can refuse to see that person again because our first impression of him/her wasn’t positive.
Starting with the second date, there’s something else – more openness and confidence develop between us, along with something else that has to do with our chemistry and communication.
The first impression is destructive, and can lead us to think that we are not interested in someone despite the potential between us.
Normally after two to three weeks in a relationship, there’s a stage where the excitement abates a little; yet the feelings toward each other grow simultaneously. Actually, this is a very scary stage, since after it happens, we’re probably going to be hurt if we split up.
Our natural tendency (subconsciously in most cases) is to seek excuses why this isn’t good enough for me, and that leads to that place where those who want me I don’t want, or, in other words: “I do want him/her, but I’m scared of trusting him/her not to hurt me, or of being just a little too dependent on that person.”
How can you know whether this is an excuse, or that he/she really isn’t right for me?
We should define our needs well in advance.
It’s really about making an in-depth shopping list of what’s important to me in a partner – this way you approach a relationship not only with your heart; but also with your head. When the head rules, it’s easier to move on. Here’s an example: I seek someone who’d be a good mother, very attentive, and very smart.
If I can tick all these needs, yet still don’t want that girl, then probably my list isn’t accurate for me, or perhaps I’m not ready for a serious relationship.
How to Succeed With Women and Easily Get Phone Numbers