Perhaps you’re afraid to be rejected, or not sure what to do after approaching her. And the truth is? You’re not alone; many guys feel the same. The method to pick up women without scaring them off is related to the first impression you make.
A good first impression will make a girl excited about you picking her up, happy to get to know you, cooperative and glad to chat with you, attracted to you and comfortable with you.
We brought together 5 ways to make a good first impression so you can start your interactions successfully. Ready?
1. Talk to her at eye level.
When you pick up a girl, you want to connect and get the chemistry right between you, and the following can help: Matching your body language, tone of speech, words etc. to hers. If you don’t do this, you’re actually going against the natural flow of that woman. Initially it is you who should match yourself to the girl; not the other way round. If she stands – stand; if she sits – sit; and if she walks – walk.
2. Always pick up a girl while standing in front of her.
If you approach a girl from behind, there’s very high risk of you scaring her off. On top of that, even if that girl did want to continue the conversation, it would seem weird if you chased her from behind. There’s very small chance of that conversation continuing. Practice on standing at least one meter in front of a girl before starting a conversation with her. If her back is turned to you, go around her, and only then start talking. It’s important that you don’t block her “escape route”, thus allowing her to keep the option to leave if she wants too.
3. Start talking in a low voice
Most men talk too loudly, or wave their hands around in a showy kind of way in order to get a girl’s attention. She may well notice you, but also be scared off by you.
It’s very simple: if this girl walked in the street and you suddenly approached her with high energies – she may well not be ready for this. That energy imbalance may also deter her, causing her to avoid continuing the conversation due to the bad impression you made on her. It’s enough to raise your hand and speak loudly enough for her to hear you. Later, if you realize that her energies are building up, it would be much easier to for you to increase yours accordingly without it seeming strange.
4. Smile naturally, or don’t smile at all
A smile can make a great first impression, but only when it seems real.
If you find it hard to smile authentically, try raising the corners of your lips just a tiny bit. If you’re not in the mood, it’s also fine not to smile. Think of how excited it is to get to know someone new of whom you know nothing; and how much fun it is to bring new girls into your life.
5. Don’t carry emotional baggage from one woman to the next
Stop your self-judgement, don’t think: “I’m not good enough for her”, or “It can’t work with such a good looking girl”, which will only make you approach a girl thinking a priory that it’s not going to work. And then it doesn’t. What you have to do is talk to yourself more positively; you should become your best cheerleader. You approached a girl? You’re such a big shot – who has the balls to make such a bold move? She said “no”? No problem, you’re still a big shot, and will improve the next time. Be more forgiving with yourself. Realize it’s a process, and as long as you come out of your safety zone, each time you’ll learn how to do it better.
At the same time, try to fully embrace those parts in you that judge you – these are positive forces that are there to protect you. Learn how to put negative thoughts and feelings away while trying to pick up girls.
Obviously, it won’t be easy at first, but remember it’s a slow step-by-step process.