“What the hell do you talk about on a date?”
The art of conversation is a skill that can be helpful in all areas of a person’s life, not just for dating. Conversations create connections between people, deepen relationships, and make life easier as well as more enjoyable.
The difference is that the woman needs to control increasing sexual tension using proper attraction methods. The first assumption you need to make, which is true in most cases, is that you have something to learn from every person you meet. Every person will be interesting in certain areas. All you have to do is know how to ask the right questions.
The right questions to ask on a date or an online dating site are open-ended questions (what/where/why/how) that require an answer more than simply ‘yes’ or ‘no’. This will guarantee real interest in the response. There is not one person who does not enjoy receiving attention and hearing a genuine interest in what they say.
People love hearing appreciation in your voice as you continue to be interested in them during conversation. Do not interrupt the person mid-sentence, or speak about yourself at every opportunity in an attempt to show off your knowledge. Let the person express themselves and show them how interested you are in what they have to say.
When you are really interested in what someone is saying, you are completely attentive and do something called active listening, which is a combination of comments and body language gestures that show interest. You nod in understanding, you maintain eye contact, and you use information that the person told you to ask questions at the right time which keep the conversation going.
If there is anything you admire, feel free to say so, because you can always find something to compliment the other person about. Every person has positives and negatives, so focus on the positives of the person in front of you.
Sometimes the conversation stays superficial, which happens with people who are hesitant to expose themselves to strangers. The trick in this scenario is to share something personal about yourself.
For example, something that happened to you recently, a crazy dream, a delusional experience, or just a personal dilemma. Sharing personal stories encourages the other side to open up, and the conversation can become more personal.
When two people meet, expressions of trust and bonding are expressed when one person opens up their heart. In fact, sharing is like saying “my good friend, I care about and trust you, that’s why I opened up to you.” The sharing encourages the other company to also reveal things in order to show that she shares the same feelings for you.
In fact, when you share your feelings and your inner world with a girl, she will first appreciate your openness to her and secondly feel the need to share with you too. This will be the beginning of a deep conversation and a good basis for exchanging feelings.
There is nothing that kills dating like treating it as a job interview. Exchanging boring information such as questions like where you live or what you deal with are banal, boring and reminiscent of previous dates that most likely ended up not amounting to anything.
After all, their occupation or place of residence does not matter at this stage because it is not what will determine if two people match. What will make a couple stay together is the measure of enjoyment. In other words, how much they enjoy each others company, how much attraction there is in the air, and how much comfort they feel around each other.
Therefore, exchanging information is something that happens on its own. You have to concentrate on exchanging emotions, which make the conversation develop and and create real intimacy between two people. To exchange emotions is to share stories and experiences that contain a lot of emotion. For example the most amazing day you’ve ever had, the most awkward experience you’ve ever had (when told lightly this creates the effect of openness and humor), a childhood dream, or a delusional dream.
You can start with small talk, which is less interesting but moves the conversation to emotions as quickly as possible. There is a little introductory game that can make things easier, called the game of questions. Each person asks the other a question and there are only two rules: to tell only the truth and not to ask the same question twice.
You can ask interesting questions that invoke feelings, and make sure to really be interested in the answers. When the conversation becomes less effervescent, move on to the next question. Here, too, it is important to start with slightly less intimate questions and slowly take it to more personal places.
There is another game called “Never have I Ever”, which adds in an alcohol component and mixes things up, because it lowers inhibitions and puts you in a more sexy atmosphere. Find out other things about each other by revealing something you never did. For example “I never slept with a person without knowing their name” (this is a mid-game statement and not a start).
If the other side did sleep with a person without knowing their name, they drink. The goal, of course, is to get the other person to drink as much as possible. Here too you can develop a fascinating conversation and even bring in tools of attraction such as teasing and challenges. If she still insists on doing a “job interview”, don’t lose your composure. Allow yourself to have fun with the answers by taking them to the extreme.
Tell her you’re a journalist or photographer by day and at night you’re secretly a superhero. Or tell her you’re a spy at the CIA who came in to recruit new spies and that she seems right, but there are some tests you need to do, and then you can ask her funny questions about her past. Answer lightheartedly, because this is how she will know that you are comfortable and that you are not like other dates she went on. You can say “Sorry, I forgot my resume. I actually printed one for you so we can move on to the more interesting questions.”
Practice at every opportunity, no matter if it’s a man or a woman, to develop your conversational skills. In time your conversation will be better with women as well. With women, work on calming the butterflies in your stomach so that they do not disturb you, but instead provide adrenaline. Additionally, as a man it is necessary to come across as confident, and you need to incorporate specific questions to increase sexual tension.
To make conversations more interesting you should have knowledge in various fields. Expand your knowledge, read newspapers, news and online articles.
If you want to understand what is interesting to women, search women’s magazines and watch movies in order to gain knowledge and use it at the right time. However, do not brag about your knowledge, instead share and reinforce things that are being said.
Many men fear silence on a date, but silence is not a problem. Being uncomfortable with silence is what can ruin a date because this discomfort can cause you to lose confidence.
If you are not frightened by silence, but instead smile at her and confidently keeping eye contact, it will earn you points. If you’re still worried, make sure you have some personal issues, dilemmas, or stories that you can pull off nonchalantly and start a conversation.
What Not to Talk About
Frustrations from previous relationships you had.
Stories that portray you as stingy, petty, depressed, a liar, etc.
Issues that may bring up negative feelings for her.
If she starts talking about these issues – it’s best to simply change the conversation to another topic.